Modified Martha Stewart's Outrageous Chocolate Cookies

It's Christmas again! But this year, no party, no gift exchange, no... basically nothing.

But it doesn't feel like year end if I didn't fire up my oven and bake something. Plus I really want to give something to the school for helping all these months, so, I decided to bake the outrageous chocolate cookies I baked two year ago. And this first batch, as I remember it, was too sweet, even though I had already cut down the sugar from the original recipe.

It's so rich with chocolate, you'll have sore throat if you had too much!

So, when I decided to bake for second time, I know I still have to do something about the sugar level. So, this is what I do to make it somewhat to my likings.

Ingredients:

• 4 ounces of semisweet chocolate, 4 ounces of unsweetened chocolate, roughly chopped
• 4 tbsp of salted butter (I always use salted butter, no matter what the recipe suggests)
• 2/3 cup of plain flour
• 1/2 tsp of baking powder
• 1/2 tsp of salt (but for this batch unfortunately I realized I accidentally put 1 tsp)
• 2 large eggs
• 120grams of brown sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 12 ounces of semisweet chocolate chunks (I used chocolate buttons)

As of the methods, I followed exactly the same as the original recipe. My oven can be a little less hot on the bottom rack, so the bottom rack has to be baked for 15 minutes while the upper rack baked for 12 minutes. 

I packed the cookies into a very non glamorous disposable take away container (I wished I could have bought the nicer packaging on weekends when we go out) and drew a simple card and wrote a thank you note. 

I'm glad The Man told me it's good when I asked him to try (whether it's good enough to give away) and the lovely teachers told me it's nice too :)

I'm glad I made it, even though I finished baking after 12am! >.<

I actually love midnight baking.

Don't Take Things for Granted

Favourite spot in living room, on my coffee table

I have countless moments where I want to tell parents, don't complain, don't take this naughty action of your child granted, don't. Because you know what, I want that. Quite badly.

When my son finally climbed up to the coffee table (because my sister was seen by him eating banana in the video call we had), we cheered, we clapped for him, we encouraged him, we grinned from ear to ear. When he does that again and again, I don't stop him, I didn't tell him he's naughty, in fact, I told him he's doing well. Then he got down from the table, climb onto the sofa, and trying to reach the top of the sofa. I watched him closely, guided him, stood behind him in case he falls, but I wanted so badly to see him practice these skills.

I have IKEA catalog or some unwanted magazines around for him. So that he can flip them, so that he can tear them, it's just so that he can practice the not-so-commonly-thought-as-skills type of skills that he's lacking of. But I want him to be more consistent.

When he refused to sleep on our bed, and rolled down and got down of the bed on his own. I smiled. Let him walk around until he's satisfied before I put him back in his prison (cot) so that he can't get out anymore. But I'm proud that he had finally overcome his fear to get down of the bed on his own.

When he tried to reach for his Mickey Mouse in his cot from my bed, and accidentally fell into it. And not crying, just a bit frightened, I taught him how to get in properly. I taught him how to climb up to my bed when he wants to. Because, I want to know, so badly that he can do it.

And I'm so glad that he is now telling us he does not want something by shaking his head rigorously. Milk? No no! Carry? No no! A stranger auntie tried to touch him in hawker last weekend, he looked at her and shake his head. I was really glad auntie respected him and did not touch him. When The Man asked him, milk? He shook. And he asked again, "are you sure?", he nodded. Good boy, now I wasted much lesser milk than I did in past one month.

All these, listed above are some improvements achieved from time to time with a lot of practice, training, sweat and tears.

So, to all parents out there, please, don't take it for granted.

Have You Ever Thought of

Have you ever thought about the meaning of holding wake and funeral?
Do you really think the dead need them? Or you think the ones that stay alive need them more?
I think funerals are for the live. It's a closure to the family, it's time for the friends and relatives to show concern to those who needed them the most during the period of time.
To feel hopeful, to feel warm.
When everything's done and over, life goes on.

Have you ever thought about the what ifs when you die?
I did, a lot, since young. I wonder if my soul will leave the body.
I wonder if I will be mourned by my loved ones. And I wonder if I'd mourned for my own death, for not wanting to leave.
Now I am a mother myself, I wonder what will happen to my children. Who will take care of them? Will the care taker know their schedule? Or will the schedule changed to suit the new care taker?
Can my husband cope? Does he know how much my son is eating? How much sleep he needs? Who's going to take care of my husband? Who will remind him not to eat so much McD and eat more fruits?
Or maybe, should I assign a guardian for my children? In case both of us left. I always think the person should be my sister, I'm always sure she loves my children unconditionally.

Have you ever thought that fear of death is when you feel more alive?
If you care enough to know that, anything shitty thing could have happened one day too sudden to take your life away from you, you'll make sure you live every minute. And you'll make sure you do what you want to do. Because, heck, life is too fragile.

I have thought of all these, and I feel alive.

Quest East Perth

It's tough to look for an ideal lodging. I'm the Airbnb kinda traveller but The Man is not. I was looking for some Airbnbs until he voiced this out, and I actually looked into both hotels and Airbnb to find something that suits both of us.

And we found Quest East Perth.

Quest East is not exactly a hotel, it's not exactly an apartment, it's an apartment hotel. So you have a front desk that does your hotel check-ins and check-out, but your room is kind of like apartment, you chose your room type like studio apartment, one bedroom apartment, two bedroom apartment etc. We're a small family, so we took a studio apartment.

It's not a huge apartment but it's really just nice for the three of us.

The king size bed

The wardrobe, small kitchen (with everything you need), small dining table.

A work desk and a sofa

View from the room

When I said the small kitchen has everything you need. I meant it!

Utensils

Cook ware

Pots and pans of different sizes

Bowls, grater, chopping board 

Toaster, brush, sponge, and cleaning cloth

And on the third day, I realised they even have a set of three different sizes lunch box (microwaveable). I used that to bring banana bread for my son in case he's hungry on the road. Nice!

Besides, if you'd like to do laundry, it's FOC. There are two washing machines and two dryers at level 1 and even the detergent is provided, FOC too! There's a small gym at the same level, don't expect anything fantastic, pretty basic but good enough.

There's no parking provided, you can book a parking lot from them, which is actually Wilson carpark at the opposite street at AUD30 a day. I calculated the cost, if I didn't book I had to pay about AUD27-28 a night. It's about the same so your choice.

We had a little hiccup during the check-in. Small matters and it's sorted out pretty soon, thanks to the very helpful front desk lady, Megan. I actually wrote it in the review in Tripadvisor. And the management took time to reply to my review. Very attentive!

Quest East Perth is really new. When we checked in, they're just open for about two weeks. It's clean, it's new, everything is bright and shining. We love it :)

Recommended.

Caversham Wildlife Park--Close Encounters with the Animals

Australia is one of the countries with most exotic wild lives, very different from what can be found around the world. Therefore, most tourists will take this opportunity (especially on the first visit to Australia) to come close to the animals.

We're not very interested in zoo. In addition to that, my friend told me Singapore Zoo is much better than Perth Zoo, it justified our decision. So we chose Caversham, simply because we got to touch the koala and wombat, feed the kangaroos, and also come close to some other animals.

Barking owl

Kookaburra, the biggest king fisher species

Common brushtail possum. This gold colour possum is native to Tasmania

Everybody goes to Caversham for the three big stars, kangaroos, koalas and wombat. But Caversham has more to offer, it's almost a mini zoo. However, I have to say they're not very well managed. The animals look mostly sad and depressed in the very small enclosures. Besides, the animals seem to be repeating on and on and on at different part of the park. It's almost like they have a lot of spaces, so they decided, ok, we have a lot of this animal, let's put it here again. After a while, it's just tiring to go through all the animals.

Wombats and koalas are animals which sleep most of the time. Therefore, there are timings for visitors to take photos with them and to understand them a little bit more from the keepers. So if you're planning a visit, do take note of the timings so you don't miss anything.

With the sleeping wombat

So cute and cuddly

He's probably counting his move to pull the koala

 As for kangaroos, they can be fed all the time during the opening hours. But they have more than enough food from all the stupid tourists like us, sometimes they just couldn't be bothered. But you can take a selfie with them, that's good enough for me.

He's a little afraid of the roos when they stand up, but he likes furry stuffs so he did kiss them from the back

Food? Nah, I can't be bothered.

Besides the three stars, they have farm show and penguin feeding show too, which we missed. We did walk to both areas, and I have to say, I can't take the pungent smell coming from the guinea pigs in the farm. I had to leave, immediately!!! As for the penguins, well, we got more from Penguin Island so, nah, not important to us.

Tickets:
AUD28 per adult (no additional charges for photo taking and petting)
FOC for children under three year old

Free parking at Car Park 8 just outside the park.

Penguin Island--Sighting of The World's Smallest Penguin

Watching penguins does not confine to just Philips Island in Australia. Penguin Island, about almost an hour drive from Perth City and 5 minutes ferry has its own Little Penguins too.

Jetty at Penguin Island

Reached after a short 5 minutes ferry ride

Little Penguins got their name from being little, literally, the smallest penguins among the penguin species. An adult little penguin weighs about 1.5kg, and it's about 30-40cm tall. Emperor penguins are averagely double the size of a little penguin.

Just imagine how adorable are they!

The little penguins at the discovery center

These penguins here are moulting (changing their feathers). It happens every year, and it's a stressful period for them as they will not be able to go down to the water.

Penguin Island is a truly wild place. Besides the tiny little discovery center, the toilets (with no flush, they use waste collection), and the pathways that round the island for about an hour walk, this island is home to thousands of birds. There are also no rubbish bins around the island, visitors are to bring their own rubbish back to the main land. Besides, if you're planning a picnic, bring your own food from mainland. There's not a single cafe or even kiosk. Humans are meant to be just visitors, this place is reserved for the birds.

The seagulls are conquering the beach

Nice picnic area outside discovery center

The beach where I brought my son for a dip in the water

Having said that, chances to see a truly wild penguin is very very low. The wild penguins go out to hunt for food during day time, and only go home in the evening. You can see the 12 captive penguins in the discovery center anytime during the opening hours, and also during the feeding time. If you're a bird-watching-kinda-guy, don't forget your binoculars and telephoto lens. There are thousands and thousands of birds in the island. I can only recognise seagulls, crows and pelicans though.

The west side of the island faces the magnificent Indian Ocean, so do make time to take a stroll along the pathway and enjoy the great view of Indian Ocean.

View of Indian Ocean in Penguin Island

Besides visiting the discovery center, you can also join one of the cruise they have. Due to age limit, we can't do anything adventurous with the little one (most cruises have minimum age of 3 except for Sea Lion Cruise), we can only do Sea Lion cruise. The cruise took us to the Sea Lion Island, just a little further from Penguin Island. We did not go near, just observed from a distance, a row of Australian sea lions (only found in Western and South Australia) resting by the beach. They go out to hunt for food for a few days, and come back to the shore to rest for a few days.

Resting sea lions

One interesting fact of the sea lions there, is that they're all males. To breed, they will have to travel to another island to court the ladies. After that, they'll go back to their own island. And they do bring the teenagers back with them. As they're once almost extinct, they're currently given a special protection.

After seeing the sea lions, the cruise also tried luck to spot any inshore bottle nose dolphins. To our luck, we did see quite a lot of them. Mostly mother and child, and some coming very very near to our boat. It's really an exciting experience. (But due to the fact that I was carrying my son most of the time, I didn't take any photos of the dolphins.)

If you're planning for a trip to Penguin Island, you do need to take note of the timings of ferry (usually one per hour), the feeding time of the penguins, the timing of the cruise you want to join, and the last cruise out of Penguin Island. Plan your trip properly to avoid disappointment.

For your reference, our trip goes like this:
11am-Ferry to Penguin Island
~Picnic, watch penguins in the discovery center~
12.30pm-Watch penguin feeding
1.15pm-Sea lion cruise
~Watch Indian Ocean~
3.10pm-Left Penguin Island

We really like Penguin Island, if you like animals and island, this is a nice place to visit =)

Tickets:
AUD78 for two adults (ferry between main land and Penguin Island, discovery center and Sea Lion Cruise)
FOC for children below three year old

Free parking outside Pangos Cafe.

4D4N in Perth

If you noticed, I only do this type of summary of my trip when I didn't travel with my sister. If we were to travel together, I'd just copy her link and share. Since she's already done that, why double the work right?

Well, since this is our little family trip, so here I am again, to do it myself.

18/11-Arrived in Perth

• Got our rental car from Terminal 1 (AUD223.40 for entire trip, Toyota Corolla, automatic)
• Checked in at Quest East Apartment (AUD636 for studio apartment)
• Rest
• Left the apartment and got a Telstra starter pack SIM card (AUD10 for 6GB, only available in city)
• Late lunch at Jamie's Italian (AUD63.15 for two)
• Dessert at Koko Black (AUD18)
• Attempted to walk to King's Park but proven to be too far by foot

Attempted to walk to King's Park and walked pass the lovely Mount Street. It's jacarandas season in November.

• Shopping at Target at Hay Street (AUD58.5)
• Dinner at food court at Carillon City (AUD20.5)
• Bought mineral water and yoghurt at RISE supermarket opposite our apartment (AUD6.50)

19/11-King's Park and Fremantle

• Went to Toastface Grillah for breakfast, but ended up packing the sandwiches because baby is fussing (AUD18)
• Went to King's Park to picnic (free parking!)

Lovely King's Park

• Went to Fremantle Market (Parking in total AUD8.1)

Sunset at Fremantle Harbour

• Bought avocado, organic fruit tea drinks, Levi's donut, Bratwurst hotdog (AUD20)
• Dinner at Kaili's, at Fremantle Harbour (AUD66.90; Parking AUD3)
• Back to Perth
• Bought some tidbits and yogurt at Rise (AUD18.95)

20/11-Caversham Wildlife Park

• Son was too tired so we let him slept in as long as he wanted. Father did the same.
• Did laundry in apartment when they slept in (FOC)
• Had breakfast at Infinity Cafe near apartment (AUD19.50 for one), and takeaway a muffin and a banana bread for father and son (AUD9)
• Went to wildlife park (AUD56 tickets for two, children below 3 is FOC; Parking is free)

Kangaroo at Caversham Wildlife Park

• Had a muffin in park (AUD4.50)
• Head back to Perth, dinner at Ribs and Burgers (AUD54.4)
• Bought tidbits and yoghurt at a cheaper minimart (AUD46.75)

21/11-Penguin Island

• Breakfast at Buddha Espresso opposite apartment (AUD21). Bought takeaway to Penguin Island (AUD18-two sandwiches and a banana bread)
• Penguin Island-Ferry+Discovery Centre+Sea Lion Cruise (AUD78 for two, children below 3 is FOC; Parking is free)

Little Penguin at the Discovery Center after the feeding

• Penguin plushie (AUD8.95)
• Dinner at Kaili's at Fremantle (AUD57.7; Parking AUD2)
• Petrol (AUD19.90 for 17.7L)
• Shopping at Perth city (AUD102)

22/11-Home

• Parking fee for 4 nights, booked by hotel at Wilson carpark (AUD120)
• Breakfast at Harvest Food Store at airport (AUD31.90)
• Honey and date loaf at Hay Market at airport for my son before boarding (AUD7)

Stay tuned for more detals =)

The Good and The Bad of Perth

We're back from our short Perth family trip. We've been talking about a short trip for a while. Initially we wanted to do it before little man turned two (because he doesn't need to pay for air ticket!). But after we found out I am pregnant, we don't think that it's a good idea to have him on my lap for a 5 hours flight. So, we decided to postpone it to post 2 year old.

The Man can't travel away from Singapore for too long due to his work. So we're really looking for some place that's within 5 hours traveling time. We shortlisted to Taiwan and Perth. But I personally do not prefer Taiwan because I've been there three times. And the last time being February this year with my best friends. After considering all factors, we chose Perth =)

We had a good full four days in Perth itself. We bravely booked an overnight flight from Singapore, to ensure we have more time. It's probably a wrong decision because my son ended up too tired. He was a little too excited before the flight, he couldn't get into sleep. And one guy behind us kept turning on the light which made everything worse! Who turn on the lights at 3am!!!! He ended up sleeping for three hours only. So we had to let him sleep in once we checked in to our apartment. We ended up only went out about 2pm.

Before talking about the attractions in Perth, I'd just like to share what's the good and bad of traveling to Perth.

The Good

Baby Friendly
The first thing that made us happy is the very well equipped and spacious baby changing room at Perth Airport. It's clean, it's equipped with sofas and television. This is what all the parents want! So really, change your baby after you landed!

Some restaurants and public toilets are equipped with changing station too. While they may not be as luxury as the one in Perth Airport, you're glad that there's at least one! You'll understand this if you've been to Amsterdam.

(Sorry I was too busy changing I forgot to take pictures)

Friendly and Helpful People
Perth gave me a very good first impression, compared to Sydney. The moment we touched down at the airport, the moment we approached the custom, everything is so welcoming. The officers are friendly. Unlike Sydney!

Besides, when we're in the city, there are always passerby who offered help to take a family photo for us. What a friendly city!

A family photo taken by passerby, on her own initiative to help

FREE Cat Buses in the City
Nobody hates FREE stuffs! If you're planning to spend a day in Perth City, just hop onto any free Cat bus. It's TOTALLY FREE! Besides, the buses are stroller and wheelchair friendly. There's an automated step where you can push in the stroller with style. GREAT! Singapore should really have this and maybe I'll take more buses.

The Bad

EXTREMELY expensive parking in city
Now, this has to be the #1 in the list. Parking in Perth City is EXTREMELY expensive. Day time per hourly is AUD4. Over 6pm or some parking lots 5pm, it's a flat rate of AUD11.

Wilson carpark near our apartment put up a very misleading sign, saying overnight parking is AUD5. Whoa! So attractive. But wait, overnight parking is only until 5.30am. From then on, anything above 4 hours is AUD22. Which means, if you're departing from your apartment at 10.30am like we do (when you have kids you'll understand), you're paying AUD27 a night. Just O.N.E night!

Food is expensive too
Overall, food is expensive. An average cup of coffee cost you AUD4 minimally. That's almost a dollar more expensive than Sydney. An average meal for two, just a normal meal like burgers in a restaurant, cost about AUD40-50. Nothing fancy.

Simple breakfast of French toast and a cup of coffee at Infinity Cafe, cost me AUD19.50

Many attractions but YOU CAN NEVER DO ALL
This is not really bad. It's just I am really interested in Wave Rock and I'm so disappointed to find out it's so far away from Perth City. And I'd really like to go Busselton or Albany to catch a glimpse of whale, but again, they're so far away from Perth.

If you tell people you're going to Perth, most of the time you'll get this reaction. "Why Perth? There's nothing much in Perth!"

Well, people, you're wrong! There are many things surrounding Perth. The only problem you have is traveling time. The attractions are all over the places, all different directions! You may not have enough time to visit all of them. We only manage Fremantle, Caversham Wildlife Park and Penguin Island. The furthest being Penguin Island and that's about an hour travel time (one way).

If you're looking at Wave Rock, that's 4 hours from Perth. Margaret River is 2 hours from Perth. The Pinnacles is 2-3 hours from Perth etc. (These are one way trip I'm talking about)


So MANY FLIES
My family did tell me about their experience at The Pinnacles where there were simply too many flies they just wanted to get out of the place as soon as possible.

We didn't plan to go to Pinnacles. But to my surprise, flies are actually everywhere in Perth. EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!

They're SO annoying!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

I'll continue more with the details of my trip (I haven't even finished with New Zealand trip, I doubt I'll ever finish it). But I hope this helps you by giving you a little bit idea of how Perth is, in general that is.

The Most Chilled Mom

That's not me.

It's one of my aunt, my 4th aunt. And sometimes I really wish I can be like her, at least I tried sometimes, until I was told that my son has low muscle tone.

Playing with the 八宝粥 I fed him, just after taking a shower

There was a time when my son would eat any rubbish you sent to his mouth, literally anything, he would eat. And he drinks three times milk, and ate two meals a day. If the waking hours seems to be too long, he can have some snacks in between too. But those days were gone. L.O.N.G.G.O.N.E.

Now, you're lucky if he even eats. You have to give him milk when he's not conscious, i.e. sleeping. If he eats that particular food, stick to it! Cook a few times a week if you have to. But if he suddenly decided not to eat, it's not because the food sucks, he's just unpredictable!

My aunt, well, she would say, "Let him be, when he's hungry he will eat". When her daughter climbed the gate, my mom was worried, but my aunt said "Let her be, let her fall and she will be afraid." And true indeed, she fell, and she didn't climb the gate anymore. When my uncle having trouble waking the daughter up for school when aunt's not around, she said "Let her be, let her be late for once and she will wake up from then on." Guess what, she was late and never again.

The list goes on and on and on, and my aunt is always right!

There was once during our New Zealand trip, my son refused any milk or food. I took my aunt's approach. I fed him only once or twice a day, and if he didn't ask for food, he didn't get any. After two days, he ate normal. Prove my aunt's point very well.

However, things changed in me after the trip. We brought him to assessments for his delay development. And we were told he has low muscle tone. Since then, we were looking for all sorts of help, early intervention, physiotherapy sessions, TCM massages, food therapy etc. Anything that could help.

Since then, I got very stressed when he's not eating regularly. I scolded him, forced him, cried together with him, both of us went through a whole lot of emotional turmoil. And things didn't improve. And then I realised, he didn't change, I did.

He was always a bit unpredictable. For a period he would eat non stop, and then another time he would not eat anything at all. Back then, I was relaxed, I let him be. But now, I'm so obsessed with "low muscle tone", determined to not let him go hungry and make sure he has enough to grow, I changed.

So I decided, I should stop. Giving him as little food as possible, if he didn't finish it's fine. If he did, don't need to top up. Let him be. Don't stress him, and don't stress myself. Low muscle tone did not even cause by him going hungry.

No. Period.

Stop caring for what others tell you. Period.

Frankly it's not easy not to care, but I try to control as hard as I can. I'm managing a little bit better now than a few weeks ago. I hope he will return to his regular eating habit.

Chill, chill....

What They Never Told You About Having Children

I am at the age most of my Facebook feeds are about babies and parenting. It's flooded with all the cute babies photos, proud parents showing us that the kids are achieving their milestones, or just plainly being cute. I am one of them, but frankly, I didn't get to show about developmental milestone.

He's been lagging behind.

So this is what nobody will prepare you for when you're pregnant. Because frankly, when you're carrying a baby, would you like to hear:"Be careful, don't be over excited and putting on too much hope, you never know what baby will turn out to be, baby may have issues you know?"

And that is exactly what happened to me. He's all cute and chubby, but, he's all lagging. In every aspect, i.e. fine and gross motor skills, speech, social skills. We sent him to early intervention centre when he's about 21-22 months old. Yes we've seen improvements but I need more because I am worry all the time. And let's be honest, if I have all the time and all the money, he should be doing physiotherapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy on weekly basis now. But he's not.

I try to tell myself, let's start with physio, the gross motor. Then we worry about the fine motor, and then, we will worry about the speech.

You can't force him.

You have to wait for him.

You're doing well, just keep going.

You're fine and he will be too.

I have to brainwash myself all these very frequently. Because, especially lately I've been stressing myself a lot. Breakdowns, breakouts (on my face), emotional swings have happened a little too much.

So this is what they never told you about having children. Things do go south, and sometimes south all the way...

Keep going, you're doing well.

Things will turn out well.

两周岁了～

好多礼物，好多气球，好多食物！

上个星期，我儿子终于两岁了！他不高不矮，不胖不瘦，刚刚好的一个两周岁的小男孩。不再是baby了。

今年和去年一样，我们都在槟城给他庆祝。今年我还在淘宝淘了十二个可爱的动物造型气球。面对满屋的家人亲戚，满桌的食物，满地的气球和礼物，还穿上外婆买的水手装，多高兴！无他，他就是喜欢热闹。

玩水乐～

这次回家比较久，大姨送的水池派上在炎炎的夏日派上用场。连续两个周末都请两位表姐一起玩。三个瓜在小小的水池玩的很开心。虽然我们觉得水池很小，但小孩其实一点都不介意。玩到高声尖叫，搞到隔壁的三姐妹羡慕不已。水池真的很小，我也不能邀请他们。

没有水池，洗澡也不错。

这个周末，很可惜的我和妈妈得到了红眼症，所以不敢请表姐们来。儿子只好自己玩。你看，小小的水桶，一样高兴。小孩是很容易满足的！

不知不觉中，这个小瓜已经不再（强烈）需要我。我红眼症的那几天，不好意思到家婆家，但是祖父母爱孙心切，旅行回来好想看孙，所以我就把儿子寄在家婆家吃晚餐。我跟他解释的时候，他是不愿意的，嘴嘟嘟，有点生气。不过当大家陆续下班回家，他就忘记了。婆婆喂他吃饭，姑姑喂他吃苹果，姐姐给他唱歌，大家称赞他好孩子，高兴的他都忘了妈妈是谁。晚上送他回来，还兴奋到睡不着～

真没想到，两岁一过就突然长大了。

两岁了，无他，就只求他健康快乐。为母的都会明白。

不要压抑自己

压抑久了会爆发。

这个道理人人都知道。可是，我还是爆发了，因为我还是压抑了。

我还是不想称我儿子为特殊儿童，不过不得否认的，他非常大的可能，就是一个特殊儿童。我从完全不能接受，到渐渐的可以在好朋友的聊天当中公开的谈。从完全不想在部落写下，到现在我可以给自己做点记录。至于脸书吗？我想，我不会在那里写什么，那里有太多不是很熟但是很多话说的人。

他不说话，他不懂得表达，他不会走路，他害怕跌倒，他很多不明白的事，他……这是一个让人心抽痛的表白。

是不是我哪里照顾不当？可能什么方面做错了？还是，怀孕的时候怎么了？我尽量不要想，但是问题总是会自己浮现。男人劝我不要给太大的期望，就做好本分就是，就尽量帮他就是。有进展是好事，没进展我们也已经尽力。

我企图说服自己，可是总会一不小心就掉进自责自问自卑的谷底。

男人工作辛苦，一人当家，新加坡消费不小，再加上孩子上学的费用，每天拼搏12-13个小时。男人拼搏，而我也很寂寞。每天12-13个小时，面对一个不说话的孩子。有寂寞，有无奈，有心酸，有无助，有压力，有累……当然，也有欢乐，孩子毕竟很可爱。孩子很爱我，常常靠过来。我生病的时候，不明白的他，只能够静静的靠在我腿上。妈妈真的乏力，也只好这样靠着。

曾经一度，在我最绝望的时候，我曾经幻想收拾行李离开。到一个我喜欢的城市，重新开始。我甚至盘算，如果我一走了之，当然会成为千古罪人，不过双方父母肯定会爱孙心切而帮助男人照料孩子。不过，你看孩子，你再想老公的辛苦，走了对他们很不公平，就留下了。这时我自己觉得心里最黑暗的秘密，说出来感觉好一点。

现在肚子里怀着第二胎，我要提醒自己，不可以总是想着大儿子的这个那个，而忽略了她。我还是吃的很好，没法像以前那样运动，就是心态偶尔上上下下，让人担心。所以我在学Typography，那是我一直想学的事。在我努力学习的时候，我暂时忘记一些事。

你知道这一路最幸运的是什么吗？这一路，男人、双方父母、双方兄弟姐妹、亲戚朋友，从来没有一句质疑我的话，从来没有。他们给孩子无私的爱，孩子回家总是很开心。真的，家人最好。

辛苦吗？很辛苦。不过，我会好好的。

有位好朋友常常会用这句话劝我，很受用，我也提醒自己。

Feed The Mommy——猪肉番茄蛋花汤面

今早6点多钟，小瓜因为咳嗽而起身，之后就不愿意睡觉（是不是知道今天是老爸的生日呢？）屡劝不听之后，我没办法只好泡奶给他，任他在床上滚来滚去，然后把他抓去饭厅陪我吃早餐。

吃早餐得意的样子

起得早，人很快就累了。还没到中午小瓜就睡着了！我差点开香槟庆祝！赶紧洗澡、洗衣服、煮午餐。早餐没得自己一人吃，午餐趁他睡觉快快吃！

热腾腾的一碗面，很幸福的

由于再多两天就回家了，我这周托男人采购的材料是越简单越好。不想吃不完，不想浪费。今天就吃面条吧～（其实今明都吃面条！！！！）

材料（一人份）：

1. 鸡蛋一颗
2. 番茄半颗
3. 猪肉五六片（随你喜欢）
4. 青菜（我选小白菜）
5. 少许姜
6. 面条（我选兰州拉面，阳春面也应该很合适）
7. 少许盐
8. 薯粉半茶匙
9. 酱油
10. 鸡汤（optional)

做法：

1. 现将猪肉切片，然后用点酱油和薯粉腌制。可以的话就腌制半小时左右。
2. 这时可以先煮面条，依据包装上的指示煮，不过可以少煮一分钟。比如包装上说5分钟，那就煮4分钟好了。捞起过冷河，避免过熟。
3. 热锅，爆香姜片，然后猪肉下锅。翻炒大约7、8分熟，起锅备用。
4. 打入鸡蛋，翻炒至半分熟，起锅备用。
5. 加油热锅，把番茄用稍大的火炒。我本人喜欢炒烂一点点，这样容易入味。
6. 把猪肉和鸡蛋回锅，加鸡汤。如果没有鸡汤，滚水也可以。如用滚水，也可以用鸡精块调味。
7. 汤滚后，加入青菜。稍滚烫就可以。然后加入已煮好的面条一分钟。试一试汤的味道是否需要再调味。
8. 起锅，慢用～

很简单，很快，很好吃，有营养～

今晚，明晚，还是吃这道，才能把材料都给吃完～～～

差别太大了！

生过两胎的朋友都告诉我，第一胎和第二胎的感觉差很多。

我不明白到底差多远。现在，我怀孕已经15周。真的，差好多。

第一胎，发现自己的月经没来的时候，是非常着急的。很紧张，验了几支验孕棒都不敢相信自己（很贵的咯！），还马上看医生（真的是马上！）。
第二胎，好像迟了，买两支验孕棒。连续验了两天，证实怀孕。很镇定的过每一天的生活，有时间才打电话给医生。

第一胎，拍照拍照拍照，从肚子小小的时候就拍啊拍啊，到40周！看自己的变化。
第二胎，到现在都没有拍过一张！

第一胎，读书，下载app，每周追踪最新的胎儿状况。很清楚的记得每一天是几周又几天。
第二胎，书本啊，偶尔看看。记得几周都偷笑了，最重要是记得EDD就好。

第一胎，爸爸回来摸肚子，和孩子说话。
第二胎，爸爸回来，儿子睡了，我们赶快做家事，上网，看电视……然后睡觉……

只能说，第一胎的时候，我太得空了。虽然有工作，下班回来就是自己的时间。有时间想，有时间计划，有时间拍照啊，想东想西的。

现在，晚上连洗澡的时间都没有。有时候上个大号我的儿子在厕所外面等我！吃完早餐，准备午餐的食材，吃完午餐，准备晚餐的食材。一周洗五趟的衣服，每天要吸尘，还要负责儿子的吃喝拉撒……睁开眼睛到闭上眼睛，所有精力都用完了！第二胎在肚子里了就默默的被忽略……哎！

不行不行，至少该给她多一点时间。

要提醒自己！

I Love Breakfast

Some of my breakfast

I love breakfast. Breakfast is simple, breakfast is something I look forward when I wake up, especially when I'm tired. I used to LOVEEEEEEE my coffee, the convenience of my Nespresso, but that has to wait for a while now.

My breakfast used to be bread and coffee, either at cafeteria/kopitiam with colleagues, or on my own desk. It's either eaten in a rush, or it's eaten together with emails and work (Sometimes in silent mode during a teleconference!), and I didn't get to taste the food, at all.

After resigning from work, taking care of my son full time. Breakfast is the best time of my everyday (if I wake up early enough to have one). There was a friend commented that I am so free that I can make such delicious breakfast.

Pardon me, free? Are you serious?? Come on man, think again!

My son sleeps very late, typical night owl and wakes up very late everyday. Sometimes The Man and I have breakfast together, and I continue having my "happy hour" after he leaves for work. Sometimes he had breakfast first, while I'm cooking myself a sumptuous breakfast. Taking my own sweet time because seriously, this one to two hours is very precious!

Another reason I shall enjoy my breakfast to the fullest, is I never know what time is my lunch :P

I wonder what life will be when second one comes along. Oh well...

New Obsession, New Life

I realised I've been missing from my blog for entire August. Was I that busy? I think It's probably a combination of busy, tired, new obsession that come all together.

My little boy has started to go to school. Well, going to school is a nicer and more grown up term we use on him. He's actually enrolled in early intervention, to address the issue of his delay development in a few areas.

Having him in intervention helps both of us. He's happy and improving. And at the same time, part of the burden on my shoulders are passed on to the centre. I've felt less depressing since his enrolment. And I need that. Before we could settle him in any centre, I cried a lot. I worry myself sick. I was almost depressed. I was in pretty bad shape. But seeing him happily involving in activities in the centre, and improving within a month, I feel more at ease now. I believe he can do it, he's just taking his time.

Some of my lettering practice

I stay around the area to wait for him to end the sessions. Three hours is not long enough to go back and forth, so staying is the only option. I would find cafes to sit down (and NOT DRINKING COFFEE!!!) and start to draw, hand lettering, read etc. I can't believe it, but I actually have plenty to do. Lettering is my current obsession. I've been into typefaces since I took up the online course of Typography. I spent $12 on four lettering pens this week, and since then, I've been lettering non stop whenever I have time. That keeps me away from my computer a lot. I am still pretty shitty in that, but I think I'm improving, like my son :)

If you notice the top left corner of the picture above, it says "It's a girl". Part of the reason I feel lethargic is that I'm carrying a new life. I'm already in second trimester, time flies! It really does! Scary! Little girl already has a name, and little girl is growing up in my belly. With the Zika virus around, we've been cutting off from all outdoor activities, no night time outing, and repellent repellent repellent! Better be safe that sorry, so we've been staying in a lot. We've become otaku! We do :P

That pretty much sums up my life currently. Busy? Yes. Tired? Yes. Am I feeling alright? Checked. I'm all okay.

Just keep swimming.

寻找魔戒之旅（五）—— 住得最开心的三天两夜

从新西兰南岛玩到北岛，我们的行程很不简单，几乎天天换房，几乎天天收拾行李，几乎天天把一箱又一箱的行李拿下了、又排（挤）过⋯⋯不简单。

在Rotorua住宿的那两晚，正是让大家松一口气的时候，终于都不用收拾行李啦～而且，在这里，也是我们全程唯一两晚大家同一屋檐下！其他时候，我们都是不同房间，不同建筑，不同楼⋯⋯往往晚餐以后就各自回房休息，很少有机会混在一起。

Pacific Valley Lodge可是我们一行人住得最满意的一次！

清晨，我们坐在太阳底下用早餐，听鸟叫声～

这是屋主的家，就在我们隔壁。

这是我们的客厅

厨房，大家忙着准备晚餐！

饭厅

睡房，总共三间，每间四张床。

Fireplace，为冷冷的晚上添了很多温暖！还好同行的有位Scout，起火就不管我们的事了！哈哈！

冲凉房，厕所两间、浴室两间、洗手盆两个，还有晾衣的地方，也有洗衣机。

此外，屋外还有烧烤的地方，我们入住的第二晚也搞了一个烧烤会！牛肉、羊肉、猪肉、鸡肉、各式蘑菇、青椒红椒、南瓜等！超级无敌好吃的，尤其是水分充足的蘑菇！在我们这里从没吃过这么美味的蘑菇啊！好怀念！我们看着满桌的食物还以为肯定吃不完了，结果，当晚大家的食量很好，统统干完了！一件不留。

屋主很用心打理空地，诺大的空地种了很多花，气候好的缘故吧，花朵都开的茂盛！羡慕死人。

而且，屋后还有小溪，是trout fishing的地方。我们在岸边看见很多鱼，可惜没有钓鱼好手，只有得看。

看见水里的三条鱼吗？

如果你到Rotorua来，不介意要开电车才能到市区，Pacific Lodge是很好的住宿！我给五星！