Let The Kids Be Who They Are

In other words, Leave Them Alone!

Today I decided to open up something that I have kept with me since young. (Yikes!)

I have a wonderful sister. We love her, I love her.

She's wise, we turn to her for advice. She's fun, she makes comedy funnier and horror movies scarier. She's crazy, she doesn't act like her age most of the time. She's wonderful, because she loves us for who we are and she loves my children unconditionally too.

But having such a sister, may not always make things easy for you. I spent a lot of my growing up times being the "victim" of comparison, from relatives and teachers alike. Thankfully, my parents never did this to us. And my lovely sister, she never acts superior.

There were several occasions that the comparisons were made so blunt, they were hard to shake it off. I persuaded myself to let it go so many times but, if I am still currently writing it, it means I have never really let it go.

Hurtful things were said to me:

"Your sister is so good in her maths, what happened to you?" By a math teacher, are you f***ing kidding me, it hurt me so badly I told my chemistry teacher I would like to change to another class and drop the subject. Thankfully she's so kind, she advice me to stay through and I did.

"Whoa, I never expected you could get so many A's like your sister!" by some relatives. Like, seriously?

The list goes on but I'm not going to write them down. My point is, everybody is FREAKING different. We have our own traits, we have our own strengths. Being born in the same family, doesn't mean we perform the same.

Victims of comparison often have to "act" like nothing happened when you made that comparison (we have to act, because if we react, you'll say we're RUDE), but deep down, that comments that you may not have remembered anyway, pierced through the confidence, shattered the person. Especially they were made during the sensitive years of teenage. Maybe it's just me as I can be a more sensitive person.

I spent a lot of time during my uni and my working life, trying to figure out what exactly are my strengths. Because most part of my growing life, I felt I'm of no good in anything.

I'm lucky I have a very very good sister. She loves me for whoever I am and she gives me advice all the time and takes good care of me. She loves me like a second mother to me. That is so important to me, because she makes me who I am today.

So, please stop comparing siblings, or cousins or anything, in anything! Everybody is different.

(And you wonder why second child has some characteristics, we're just trying to protect ourselves from being hurt)